fruitcake (froot-cake) n. 1. an amalgamation of everything that you like, mushed into a monstrosity.
2. the most common, and most abused, christmas gift.
3. construction material.
There is no Christmas gift more vilified, more dreaded, and more prolific than the Fruitcake. The late, Late night talk-show host, Johnny Carson, opined that “The worst gift is fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” He may have been right, or nearly so. This joke is also frequently attributed to the writer Calvin Trillin, who denies being the source. Trillin says he was just passing along a theory he “had heard from someone in Denver”. He continues, “There is nothing dangerous about fruitcakes as long as people send them along without eating them.” Source: here and here
According to Wikipedia (motto: if we publish it, it must be true) the earliest recipe of fruitcake from ancient Rome lists pomegranate seeds, pine nuts, and raisins that were mixed into barley mash.
What is Cooking America says that: In the early 18th century, fruitcake (called plum cakes) was outlawed entirely throughout Continental Europe. These cakes were considered as “sinfully rich.” By the end of the 18th century there were laws restricting the use of plum cake. To escape this tyranny, Europeans flooded into the United States. Mail-order fruitcakes in America began in 1913. It is our opinion that this is where the trouble started.
Fruitcake Lady Tribute
The “Fruitcake Lady” on the Tonight Show was the embodiment of fruitcake. If you’ve never seen her, you can read about her here. What did she think of fruitcake? “Any decent dinner ends with dessert and there is none more worthy and elegant than fruitcake.” That just about says it all.
Here’s a report of a 125 year old fruitcake. Jay Leno took a bite. He’s a lot more brave than we would have been.
Fruitcake Capital: Claxon, Georgia claims to be the Fruitcake Capital of the World. Claxon, Texas also claims this title. One wonders why they choose to compete for this.
Spyware Information Center lists these two viruses: Fruitcake, and Fruitcake 0.95b. Evidently, not even your computer is safe from this dreaded gift.
Believe it or not, there is a Society for the Protection and Preservation of Fruitcake. Fruitcake needs protection? Don’t think so. As for “Preservation”, I think that’s pretty redundant, don’t you? The things last forever already!
Fruitcake has a devastating effect on the environment
When a fruitcake eventually breaks down, the damage is far-reaching. Read about the Environmental Impact of the millions of fruitcakes that end up in the landfills every year.