The Great Fruitcake BakeoffWe had someone in the office who was willing (and possibly eager?) to read and review the book, The Great Fruitcake Bake-off, that was being released today. To make sure we got it first thing, we pre-ordered the book on Tuesday, awaiting a download link this morning, which never came. The anticipation of getting the book the minute it was released was squashed by the realization that we may have wasted two bucks.

The book description reads as follows: “When a five-time champ teams up with her new neighbor for The Great Fruitcake Bake-off, they discover baking a prize-winning entry is complicated, bad guys are plotting to take the crown, and first prize isn’t just about a ribbon.”

Since it’s the end of the day and we still don’t have the book, we can’t review the actual story, so we’ll do what we do best: make stuff up. This review is completely fabricated from our collective imaginations.

Although the book was listed in the “Romantic Comedy”, it’s really a horror story.

Samantha Greene has received the dubious honor of “best fruitcake” in an evil ritual dedicated to adding more fruitcakes to the already overwhelming circulation. She’s finally ready to turn her life around when her “friend” Bethany eggs her on. As the story unfolds, we learn what motivates an otherwise normal woman to disappoint family and friends with yet another attempt at an award no one really wants. Although she has succeeded five times in being judged “least objectionable”, there are evildoers who will stop at nothing to strip her of her crown. Teamed up with her new neighbor, Dixon Roberts, she’s ready to seal her pact with the Devil to win one more time, or die trying.

That may or may not be accurate.  Vicky Batman is an award-winning author, so at the very least, we can safely guess that it’s well-written, and possibly hilarious.

If you want to purchase this ebook, click here.
Read more from and about the author, Vicki Batman, here.

UPDATE December 17: Had a chance to read the ebook, which the publisher kindly sent after the download mix-up. Turns out it’s a romantic comedy, featuring one recently single female, a hunky neighbor, and a couple of ne’re-do-wells who attempt to win the bake-off, not on their merits, but by destroying the competition. The Great Fruitcake Bake-off is a cute story as sweet as glaced cherries, and a very quick, enjoyable read. Never thought we’d put the word “enjoyable” in the same sentence as “fruitcake”, but there’s a first time for everything.