What is fruitcake, exactly? Where does it belong? This is proof positive that no one knows the answer. You’ll find it just about anywhere.

Here, at one grocery store, they put the candied fruit that’s used in fruitcake in the produce department, labeled “fresh”. That stuff hasn’t been fresh, or produce, in quite some time.

I never realized that fruitcake wasn’t vegetarian-friendly, however, someone must think there is meat in it, as this grocer has it in the meat department.

And, last, but not least, Sprouts Farmers Market seems to think they’ve found a “healthy” fruitcake. Since the expiration date is long into the future, perhaps eating this will prolong life? I sincerely doubt it.

Truth is, fruitcake really doesn’t fit in anywhere. It’s in a category of its own. One that needs to be eliminated. With your help, we can eradicate fruitcake from the planet, one fruitcake at a time.