Google sends alerts to our inbox whenever someone mentions fruitcake online. We’ve asked for this because, as you know, as the world’s foremost authority on fruitcake recycling, The Great Fruitcake Recycling Project is constantly on the lookout for the latest fruitcake news.
Of course, we thought things would settle down now that the holidays were over. Not so! People are still discussing fruitcake, and believe it or not, making them!
Who knew fruitcake was considered a year-round food? Yes, of course it doesn’t break down, and is exactly the same, month after month, and year after year. That’s not the point. The point is, people are looking for new ways to make fruitcake at times outside the holiday season, and we’re at a loss to come up with a good reason why.
Take Annabelle White, who posted a recipe today for Summer Fruitcake. She looks like a perfectly normal lady, and she probably means well, since she says it’s her favorite way to use summer fruit. Are people in New Zealand more fruitcake-tolerant, or, is it possible (though hardly probable) they know how to make something there that’s actually edible?
Pondering that thought, we came up with the following hypothesis: since their seasons are opposite ours, maybe everything else in their world is opposite us, too. That’s the only explanation for this.
If you venture to opposite-land, or get the nerve to try Annabelle’s recipe, please send us a report. If it’s any good, it may just be the first truly edible fruitcake anyone has ever tried.