You know how there’s always one wimpy kid that gets picked on in school, and just when you think they can’t take any more, someone finally stands up to the bully tries to made him back down?

Evidently, fruitcake is the wimpy kid, and we are the the bully. Or so the city of Springfield believes. Not that Springfield. The other one. In South Carolina. Yeah, we didn’t know either.

Springfield Defends Fruitcake on Saturday” in The Times and Democrat says, “according to the Springfield Defends Fruitcake Committee, the citizens of Springfield are tired of people trashing fruitcake and feel compelled to defend the holiday tradition.”

They aren’t just defending the fruitcake, they’re actually planning to eat it, too. Some people really go too far to make a point.

Proceeds from Springfield Defends Fruitcake will benefit the town’s school restoration project. This makes no sense, when they have fruitcake, the perfect construction material. It’s stronger than concrete and never breaks down. They could just take all the donated fruitcakes and start building.
fruitcake brick

Do you know anyone else who is fighting for the rights of fruitcake? Please send us an alert. We’d like to help them see the error of their ways.

That’s right. We’re not backing down.