Fruitcakes Recycled:
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  • Fruitcake Recycling: Making a difference, one fruitcake at a time
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The Great Fruitcake Recycling Project by Barbara Bailey is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Permissions beyond the scope of this license are available by request here.

Hate Fruitcake? You're in good company.

 

People have many reasons for hating fruitcake. At the top of the list:
Fruitcake is the Holiday Season's Most Damaging Product
It causes more damage to the environment every year
than all other holiday traditions combined.


biohazardYou hold the power over fruitcake!
  • Protect your community
  • Support our ecosystem
  • Rescue the planet
Please help us spread the word about this important cause!

Darts

A fruitcake is a geological homemade cake.
– Charles Dickens

  • If laid end-to-end, all the fruitcakes exchanged in one holiday season would stretch around the equator, causing the majority to sink like lead in the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.
  • The United States city with the largest fruitcake consumption per capita is Worms, Nebraska.
  • Each recycled fruitcake circumnavigates the globe an average of 27 times before it ends up in the hands of someone who will actually eat it. Aficionados call this “aging” and claim it enhances the flavor.
  • No one has ever purchased a fruitcake for themselves.
  • You can’t make a cat eat fruitcake.*
  • The ancient Egyptians considered fruitcake an essential food for the afterlife. When interviewed, most Americans agreed, stating that they, too, would rather die before eating it.
  • *If you can, we want to see your video

Fruitcake Proliferation: Recycling is the Answer

If you care about the future of the earth, the time to act is now. If you receive a fruitcake this holiday season, please keep the tradition alive. Pass it on. It’s the perfect way to say, “I care more about the environment than I care about you,” in a way that fulfills your gift-giving obligation and societal guilt in one step.

If you have no one to give your fruitcake to, send it to our Recycling Center, where our workers are busily working on solutions to the fruitcake proliferation problem. Mail your securely wrapped fruitcake to:

The Great Fruitcake Recycling Project
c/o Garage Sale Industries, LLC
40 W. Littleton Blvd.
Suite 210-278
Littleton, CO 80120

Christmas Tin BoxLine

At Christmas, every time you hear a bell ring

it could be someone at your door with a fruitcake.

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Categories
Recycled Fruitcakes

What happens to the recycled fruitcake?


Fruitcakes sent to us in their original, unopened packaging are redistributed to people who request them.

Want one of the recycled fruitcakes? Fill out this form

If the packaging is opened or damaged, we use them for research, and a variety of craft projects.
Disclaimer
This is a humor blog. All facts and statistics are fabricated by the site owner, and should not be taken seriously. It's hard to believe we need to tell you this, but we have lawyers who insisted we post this notice.

Everything on this site is Copyright © 2014 by Barbara Bailey - All Rights Reserved
If you want to use something, please ask. Don't just steal my stuff. It took a long time to make up all this crap.